Regrets
by Kitsune Complex
Summary: Oliver wants to show Johnny his true feelings, but all does not go as planned. PG. Shounen-ai. Fluff.


**Title:** Regrets

**Pairing:** Oliver/Johnny

**Rating:** K+

**Summary: **Oliver want to show Johnny his true feelings, but all does not go as planned.

I run my hand smoothly over my head and fiddle with my hair. I fell at a loss as to what to say, a part of me is telling me just to get on with it, the other part is advising me to run away. I open my mouth to speak, but I hesitate, the scariest thing is that I don't know how he's going to react._ But why should that stop you?_ Enrique's voice asks. I remember our discussion earlier; I consider that I'll never know unless I try, for once I feel safe using Enrique's advice. I open my mouth a little, this time sound escapes. 'I…' my cheeks burn and I struggle against the urge to run. 'Johnny…I love you…' I turn away for a minute, embarrassed, not believing what I just told him. I don't want to look at him; I don't want to see the expression on his face. Knowing how turbulent our friendship is already, I get the feeling that I had smashed it into a thousand little pieces.

I turn back just as he begins to speak, his face as red as his hair and his lavender eyes wide in some sort of unrecognisable shock.

'No…I'm not…' He starts with intent in his voice, but this falters and dissolves as I approach him, sliding my hand around his torso and planting my lips firmly onto his. He will kill me after this.

---

I awake to find myself suffocating; my head nestled in my arms upon the wooden surface of a dining table. I look up with watery unfocused eyes, my blond friend stares at me from straight across the table, looking concerned, his expression as if to ask 'what happened?' I don't want to answer. I wince as the throbbing in my nose grows more painful. _Is this the price of love?_ I think to myself. So this is what being a toucan feels like. I stare down at my nose which is now twice the size it originally was.

'You're covered in blood…' Enrique states, sliding a plate of toast in my direction. Oh how very observant the blond is today. He stares down at the surface in front of me and a tissue drowned in blood. I ignore him a while more; maybe I could just get him to un-notice. I'm not really in the mood to talk to him. 'You should get that seen to. Aren't you…'

'It's ok, it's nothing' I cut him off with a lie, pretending not to notice the intense pain. I think positively; _At least I'm still alive._ 'I'll miss my flight anyway.' I get up and head out the door to go get myself cleaned up.

'You're leaving?' Enrique asks, but I pretend not to hear.

Rubbing the bridge of my nose tenderly with a wet towel, I stare into the mirror angrily. I poured my heart out to that bastard and all I got in return was a broken nose. At least I think it's broken. I sigh, thinking back to what had happened last night. Maybe I deserve this. I had intruded his personal space and kissed him full on the lips. I certainly deserved this.

Placing a plaster across my nose I proceed back to the kitchen.

'So are you going to tell me what happened before you run away?' Enrique is sure full of questions today. I feel like a criminal being interrogated for a terrible crime, one that I know full well I'm guilty of.

'I'm not running away, I have responsibilities unlike some people.' Another lie, I am running away. Running away from my feelings. _I can't face him again, not after the mistake I made, not after I saw that look on his face. Knowing that he doesn't return my feelings is worse than not knowing at all. I'm such a fool. _I think, so many thoughts run through my head at the same time that it's almost as if I'm drowning in them. I sigh, I may as well tell him. What have I got to lose? I look down at the surface of the table. 'I kissed him and he punched me.' There's a long pause, I look up to see Enrique trying his best not to laugh. I scowl at him.

'What? That's so like Johnny.' He gets up from the seat opposite me and walks over, resting a hand on my shoulder. 'At least make up with him before you leave.' Whoever thought that Enrique could sound so intelligent. He doesn't understand, Johnny is the reason I need to leave, I just can't face seeing him again, not with the image of him from last night still stuck in my head.

'My flight leaves in a couple of hours, I'll be packing if you need me' I walk out the dining room, leaving Enrique behind and head out into the long hall, up the stairs and to my room, at least I might be able find sanctuary there. I look around my room and gather my things to stuff in the big trunk at the foot of my bed. I sigh, sitting myself on the bed and I begin to cry.

It has to have been at least an hour before I pull my act together. Everything is packed and all thoughts of last night are slowly edging their way to the back of my brain. There's no need to cry any more. I wipe my face free of tears and lug my trunk towards the door, but before I have a chance to escape Johnny comes skulking through the door. Funny how he's the one who has a look of regret on his face. I try to refrain from making eye contact with him, keeping a low profile as I pretend to collect things to take home with me. I'm so occupied by this that I fail to notice him standing behind me.

'Look, Oliver... I'm sorry.' Hah, whoever though Johnny was capable of saying sorry. No, now is not the time for snide remarks. He says he's sorry. What for? Well I suppose he means my nose, but I'm the one who's supposed to be sorry. I turn round to look at him, so much for not making eye contact.

'Johnny...' I begin, but before I can get a word in edge ways he cuts me off. I suspect this is where our friendship ends, or whatever you call the relationship we had.

'After you left last night I had some time to think,' I look straight into his soft lavender eyes and feel a blush form on my cheeks. 'I am really sorry for punching you. You know what I'm like, most of the time I don't think before I do things...' He pauses and I wait for the; _But I can't forgive what you did last night. _I close my eyes tight and shake my head.

'I'm sorry Johnny, I can't just throw away my feelings for you!' I keep my eyes closed, I don't want to see his face.

Before I can react I feel his warm hands holding my face in a soft caress and his sweet breath on my burning skin. I open my mouth again to speak but before I can make a sound I feel a soft pair of lips on mine. My head spins, my pulse races and I feel like I'm floating amongst the clouds. I can't seem to make my brain believe this situation, is this a dream? If so it's the cruellest I've ever dreamt. I force myself into the kiss as much as I can, even if this a dream it's best to make the most of it.

'Whoa, am I interrupting something?' Enrique that idiot! I make a personal note to kill him later. I open my eyes and am surprised to find Johnny there, inches in front of me, his face turned towards Enrique at the doorway. I can't see his expression, but I don't think I want to. Butterflies stir in my stomach, somehow knowing this isn't a dream makes me nervous. Johnny lets out a long sigh and clears his throat.

'Enrique, please leave before I break your nose too.' Johnny says calmly. His reaction takes me by surprise, what happened to the real Johnny, the one that nearly broke my nose? Who is this stranger who has Johnny's looks but none of his... err... charm?

'It's okay Johnny you don't have to restrain yourself for me, if I were you, Enrique's face would already be on the other side of his head.' I know that Johnny is trying to change for me, but I fell in love with him for who he was, extreme anger management issuses and all.


End file.
